Eyes on the Prize - Looking Towards November May 17, 2008

As the Clinton campaign winds down in energy and media attention, it is time for us to begin looking towards the general election, with Obama as our newly anointed candidate.  It is also time for us to begin to understand our significance as a people, to understand the importance of our voices.  Never before has it been so important for the apathetic, non-voting public to come forward and make their sentiments known.  Elections are won by the people who go out and vote, who decide, one at a time, that their voices are indeed important and that their woes and their opinions matter, and that they just might change something.  One at a time, millions of us must speak out this year.  We must change this country through a “new” realization that the democratic process can work to our advantage if only we let it.  Understanding that we have a collective desire to see our country in peace and prosperity again is key to every single person’s welfare.  You must chart the course and let go of the apathy and the mentality that your vote is insignificant.  Your vote is one that speaks the voice of every person hungry for a change - and we cannot win without it.

A day in the USA May 1, 2008

I don’t claim to be that politically well versed. I lack a college education. My experience up until very recently has been spent working in entry level jobs for minimal pay with overly expensive benefits, struggling every day to pay for childcare, healthcare, and my adjustable rate mortgage. I believe that I’ve been fortunate. A few years ago my husband shacked up with the Union, I got a better job, and things have improved since. My personal belief is that as two individuals with nothing more than High School educations and a certain level of determination we’ve mostly been lucky to end up the way that we are now, which is slightly more comfortable than a constant struggle to pay for our daily living expenses. And most of our brethren are not so lucky as that.

But this does not mean that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to live not just from paycheck to paycheck, but from moment to moment, event to event, purchase to purchase - trying to find the money to put gas in your gas tank or get another package of diapers from the store or pay your mortgage before it goes 30 days late. That’s the existence that the majority of Americans are living these days. A battle, and a series of seemingly endless insurmountable obstacles from the moment that you wake up in the morning until the moment that you go to bed at night.

To be quite honest with you up until a few months ago I was utterly and completely disenchanted with the political process. I am in fact an Independent voter, not permitted to caucus in this state. I’d decided to vote for a third party candidate - whoever I could find whose ideals recognized the daily struggles of my life and did not trivialize them, someone who recognized that although there are broader issues that require our attention and moral questions that must from time to time be addressed politically, those things do not put food in my family’s mouth. They don’t lower the cost of my kid’s hospital bill when he gets an ear infection. They don’t improve the school district we live in - where the standardized test scores are so low that the only alternative for parents here is a single charter school whose proven method of educating should be the norm and not the exception. Abortion, gun control, gay marriage…is my position on any one of those issues going to make my family’s struggle any easier?

All at once, I became enamored of this candidate. It was the substance of this speech that captured my attention, and brought me into the fold. It is the fact that he constantly recognizes our daily trials and tribulations and does not demean our intelligence by entertaining the notion that the majority of the problems that we face even appear in the media from day to day. This man is our future President.

Why Let Clinton Win? April 29, 2008

Have you noticed, recently, the unusual affinity that the Republicans seem to have for Clinton?  They’re proclaiming that she is the stronger General Election candidate.  They’re saying that they see weaknesses in Barack Obama that their party will be able to exploit without actually naming them.  They’re absolutley in love with Clinton. HELLO!!!!???  Is there something wrong with this picture?  Does the fact that the Republicans have a preferred General Election Candidate set off alarm bells for anyone else - and the fact that it’s Clinton?

Hmm, let’s see.  If I were a Republican and were giving advice on a better General Election candidate, would I be candid about my thoughts on the matter?  “Oh yeah, that Barack Obama - it’s going to be hard as shit to beat him during a general election, particularly with a batty old geezer like McCain running against him.   Yeah, we’d sure hate to see the Dems put him out there.”  Yeah this makes total sense guys, right?  Asking the Republicans who they think is the stronger General Election candidate is the equivalent of asking Osama Bin Laden who he thinks would be the best person to weigh in on Homeland Security.  Seriously.  This is so idiotic.

Boulder is Better - A Field Guide April 25, 2008

Hey I don’t know if you guys were aware of this or not, but Boulder is way better than your city/town/village.

C’mon now don’t get pissed at me! I’m just the messenger. Have you ever been to Boulder? It’s painfully apparent that there is nothing wrong there. You’ll be hard pressed to find a piece of litter on the street, a person whose appearance is not supermodel-like, or a filthy smoker. I would say that probably the dirtiest thing in Boulder is the hippies. And they’re not real hippies. Allow me to define for you the difference between real hippies and Boulder hippies:

A) Real Hippies cannot shower, because they have no place to do so. Hence the overwhelming odor of patchouli emanating from them at all times. However please don’t be confused. Just because a hippie is wearing patchouli does not mean that they come from this category. Generally the patchoulli odor will be mixed with excessive amounts of BO as well, if this dirty hippy is for real.

B) Boulder Hippies shower, except for their hair. That they allow to mold and turn into dreadlocks. They are generally wearing Ipods, carrying backpacks, and sitting in front of you in your class at CU. Real hippies have neither the financial resources nor the motivation to sit in front of you in your class at CU. Note: Hippies from category A might be in possession of an Ipod due to an unwise allocation of what few financial resources they have at their disposal. Therefore the best indicator that you are dealing with a Boulder hippie is a combination of The CU factor, the dirt factor, and the fact that you are in Boulder. Boulder Hippies are rarely seen outside of their natural habitats.

Lest my Hippie type discernment skills be called into question, allow me to just state for the record that I have coexisted out of necessity with Hippies (read: my parents) long enough to understand their nuances.

But I digress.

Back to why Boulder is Better. Isn’t it one of the healthiest, smartest, bestest cities in the US? You’re damned straight it is. I mean have you seen the place?

To those of you who just read this post and are surprised by the assertions contained within let me assure you that we, as Coloradans, have also had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that Boulder is so much better than the rest of the state - indeed the country. It’s a learning process.

Should you ever find yourself in the vicinity of this Earthly Paradise please remember to abide by the following rules:

1. Don’t even think about moving to Boulder. You’re not good enough. If you were, you’d live there already.

2. Try not to drive through Boulder unless it’s absolutely necessary. Most people find it incredibly difficult to retain their self esteem in the face of such flawless, indisputable perfection. Plus they don’t want you there. Plus you might find yourself in violation of Rule #1 - thinking about living in Boulder.

3. Finally, should you find yourself in Boulder for any reason, understand and respect that the entire fucking WORLD is a sidewalk and that your vehicle (you filthy Earth hating heathen with no heart who burns fossil fuels for the sheer pleasure of destroying the atmosphere bit by bit) is essentially impeding bicyclist and pedestrian traffic. People who do not understand this rule will find that Boulder actually vanishes and can neither be seen nor entered again.

Hopefully you’ve found the information above useful. Most of all I hope that I have successfully communicated to you how inferior you and your crappy city/town/village are so that you will not be so overwhelmed Boulder’s glorious-ness should you ever be fortunate enough to lay your unworthy eyes upon it.

Well then. Breathe. April 24, 2008

I believe that I have calmed down significantly since last night. I have to admit that I was rattled for a split second, but this is one of those rare occasions when I find that giving away money is actually an exercise in de-stressing. I gave $25.00 to Obama’s campaign today after hearing that Hillary Clinton had raised $3.5 million following her victory in the PA Primary. We’re going to win this thing. It’s going to happen. The only way that the whole thing could go south on us is if the Superdelegates determine that the number of pledged delegates has no bearing, because Clinton can’t make up the math this late in the game. If we’re taking bets on what will be happening 3 weeks from now, allow me to hedge by bet on this - Clinton is going to run out of money.

If she doesn’t, there’s the Pelosi Club. You know Pelosi, right? She’s the speaker of the House? Well, I’m still attempting to substantiate this with something other than a hopeful Obama supporter’s blog entry, but from my understanding she has essentially stated that as a Super Delegate she will be siding with whomever has the most pledged delegates at the time that this thing must be decided.

The media gave Clinton all of 3 hours of positive spin last night following her highly anticipated win in PA, but today it’s back to more of the same, with the plain truth of the matter being that there is simply no way that Clinton can pull out a victory with the number of delegates she has the potential to attain, even optimistically.

I’m really just impatient. I don’t personally feel that this is damaging the prospects for the Democrats in November. If anything, I think that this whole thing is still strengthening them because there is from my perception virtually no coverage of McCain whatsoever, and what he’s getting is negative. It’s just that I’m so EXCITED to see Barack Obama kick McCain’s ass I can barely contain myself. I know, I’m immature. I’d totally sell my soul to see a real-life political fistfight.

Anyway I guess it’s time for us all to just calm down. On my favorite pro-Obama site, http://obamaiswinning.com/, the Jed report makes this statement - “We’re going to win. It’s not a question of whether or if. It’s just a question of how and when.” I agree.

Goddammit, Pennsylvania April 24, 2008

Perhaps I should start off this post by saying this again: GODDAMMIT Pennsylvania! I’ve just watched CNN declare Clinton the victor in PA because of her working-class voter appeal. I’m a little - no, I take it back, I am MORE than a little disgusted with this victory. More than that, I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in my brethren the Working Class. I’m disappointed in Clinton for letting it get this far.

Why are people still so blind to the fact that Clinton is just another conventional politician? How can we trust someone who voted to take us to war in Iraq - costing us thousands of lives - the lives of the men and women of MY GENERATION? This woman contributed to the current financial state of the Union by voting for this war and now, now she promises to fix it? Now? There is nobody who is of the prevailing school of thought in politics who can turn us in a new direction now. There is no light at the end of the tunnel with a Clinton victory and no promises of a better tomorrow from someone who in spite of her so called “commitment” to the working class continues to take money from lobbyists who represent the best interests of large corporations, not their employees. How is it that the blue collar workers are so easily deceived?

I know this was an anticipated setback by all Obama-ers but I still find myself stinging. And you know it’s like a car wreck - I’ll have to see what she has to say about all of this in her victory speech because I just can’t turn away from the carnage. And nothing, nothing makes me angrier than listening to the pundits talk about how in spite of his lead in the popular vote, and the fact that there is no way in hell that Hillary Clinton could possibly overtake him in pledged delegates, the Super Delegates might still overturn our chance to be heard. I’m tired of watching them talk about “the states that count”. What the fuck? I mean, I know that’s the hard cold reality of the thing but at least give us our primaries, at least let us pretend like the voice of the people counts to pick our CANDIDATES, since it’s the voice of the Electoral College which decides, ultimatley, the person who will lead this country for the next four years.

About those Polygamists April 21, 2008

OK People. I’m not too sure why the Polygamists are getting all of this press only now. Please someone, can you tell me if you’ve ever heard of Krakauer’s 2003 book “Under the Banner of Heaven“? This book discusses, at length, the despicable behavior that has recently come to light after the raid on that freakish white-temple compound in Texas. I find it so irritating that the media is behaving as if this story has been busted wide open now that there’s some sensationalism involved, when really there’s already been research and substantial evidence the fact that these perverts were making children their brides, practicing polygamy, and Bleeding the Beast well before this story broke.

The Government has been aware of this behavior for quite some time, and has ignored it in part because there is no proving that someone is married “In Spirit” when they’re collecting on welfare, and in part because nobody wants to encroach on the beliefs of this religious cult. Make no mistake people - this is a CULT. I’m of the opinion having read Krakauer’s book on Mormonism as well as several others on the subject, and based upon my personal associations and interactions with Mormons, that all LDS followers are members of a cult. But - lest you say that I’m being unfair - I don’t feel much different about any religion, really. It’s just Mormons in particular I find to have pretty far fetched and out there beliefs. I mean, they wear sacred underwear for God’s sake. It’s not for misunderstanding their belief system that I find the Mormons to be crazy. It’s for having researched it to a point of near obsession.

This is a sampling of what I know about the Mormons in general:

A) They believe that Joseph Smith, their founder, unearthed several Golden Plates inscribed with the word of God. That he was led to them by God himself, and;

B) Having found these plates and having been magically bestowed with the ability to read them because they were in some otherwise indecipherable language, Smith got a bunch of guys together to look at the plates and sign a document attesting to that fact. So you see the whole credibility thing has been TOTALLY taken care of. Nevermind that I bet I could pay any number of vagrants $50.00 to sign off on a document stating that they’d also seen my golden plates from Heaven. Of course he couldn’t hang on to them - they were too sacred and they had to be returned to God. So it was on HIM to translate them. What a big job for such a little trickster (Smith liked to engage in other fun and scientifically sound activity in his free time, like magic and dowsing) There is also evidence to suggest that he engaged in several moneymaking schemes before stumbling upon a no-brainer - religion.

C) Joe’s wife was none to hot on his polygamy revelation. This particular directive from God didn’t come down until after the Church was firmly established, and Joe’s rather un-Christian infidelity was pretty renowned at that point. Really, it was expertly timed and another move of genius by a man who by this time commanded a following of thousands. The religion was no longer in its infancy when this one was passed down from the heavens (don’t you think it’s right up there in terms of quality in Commandments from God as “Honor they Mother and thy Father and “Thou Shalt not Kill?” - It’s a classic, really, one for the ages. ) As you can imagine people (well, women anyhow) might have found it sort of an um…turn-off in an otherwise thriving new religion.

D) Before obtaining statehood, Utah outlawed polygamy in 1890. The majority of Mormons, evidently, took this in stride. But more than a few began forming sects, ranches, churches, and compounds, and continued this practice from the time that they became known as “Fundamentalist Mormons” to present-day.

The point I’d like to make here now is that the government has been allowing this to occur for so long that enforcing the law on these hundreds of brainwashed men, women, and children now is going to do those kids, in particular, more harm than good. Now before you get all worked up, I’d like to say that I am disgusted with the filthy, deplorable practice of marrying young girls to older men. Further I think that the rapists they rounded up (if they even managed to do that) should be sentenced according to their crimes. On the other hand, aren’t there preventative measures that could be taken in the future? For God’s sake, can we at least set the expectation for these people that they need to wait to marry their children until they’re at least 18 years old? Frankly I think that’s the best we can hope for.

Rather than paying foster families to feed and clothe these children for the next 18 years or so, wouldn’t it be a better investment of time and resources to monitor the activities on that compound (and others like it?). You’ve got welfare “single” mommies whom we all know are in fact married in plurality to these men. This gives the government an in. They have children whose names and ages are all on record with the state, and an age at which these young girls are clearly at risk. I’m not going to finish out this equation, but I think it’s fairly obvious.

Don’t fool yourself, most of these kids cannot be acclimated into a life within normal society after a lifetime of brainwashing as history has proven. In case you didn’t hit up that last link, let me just summarize. The polygamists that we raided in the 1950’s were essentially the grandparents of the polygamists that we raided a couple of weeks ago.

Well, there’s my two cents.

Go away, Hillary April 14, 2008

What I should really entitle this post is Quitting Smoking, part 2. So let me just preface the following rants by stating that I am slightly more than slightly irritable right now.

Fuck, can Hillary Clinton just go away already? She’s like that kid in school that follows the cool kids around and nobody really has the heart to tell her that she’s not welcome but everyone does their best to at least be awkward about things and make sure that she has a chance to catch a hint about being utterly and completely unwelcome. I mean I know that Hillary missed a historical opportunity to be the first woman President and I’m sorry about that - I really am. But the fact is that this is not her time or place. Nor is it McCain’s. To the extent that I am capable of believing in destiny, I genuinely believe that Obama is destined to be the next President of the United States. I mean look at the guy. He’s bulletproof.

Yeah yeah, there may even be people who are still hung up on this Reverend Wright thing. So the guy is pissed off about the treatment of his people by White America? I’m pissed off about the treatment of my people by White America, and I’m White! And we’d be deluding ourselves if we said that anyone does not harbor some hatred, racism, homophobia, complete misunderstanding or unfounded fears at some point in their lives. We’re human, and that’s a sad human truth. John McCain has somehow managed to avoid any animosity over an interview that he did shortly after his release from a Vietnamese prison camp in the 1970’s where he referred to the Vietnamese repeatedly as “G00k$”. Don’t believe me? Click here.

I’m not a proclaimed blogging political pundit. I have virtually no understanding of the game of politics in this country - which puts me in a pool of about 99.999% of Americans out there right now. The other fraction of our countrymen - a bunch of overpaid CEO’s, lawyers, and yes - politicians, are the ones who fully understand this game. Because of that understanding and the common schmo’s apathy about voting, that tiny percentage controls goddamn nearly everything - and I’m fucking sick of it.

Maybe that’s why I like Obama so much, because he discourages apathy and cynicism in the face of such seemingly impossible obstacles like a sense of utter defeat over politics in this country and tells us that if we give a shit about the current state of things it’s our job, our responsibility to stand up and at least make our dissenting voices heard even if they are not understood. Forgive me my tangent for a moment here but there are people who would die (and no I’m not talking about middle-easterners who have no understanding of or desire for democracy so let’s get back on track here) - die to be able to vote. Sure, I don’t know any of them. I probably can’t even point to their country on a map. I probably can’t even spell the name of their country. And if hard pressed, I might admit that I can’t really remember the last time I read a newspaper article about those people or if I ever have at all. But surely they’re out there. Just a surely as there are people with extra toes and ears and conjoined twins. They’ve just gotta be out there.

Anyway get off of your lazy ass and go register to vote or something. Otherwise nutjobs like me who might be angrier than usual because they’re quitting smoking and going through nicotine withdrawal will be deciding the fate of your country and you wouldn’t want that, now would you?

Stories from Customer Service Hell April 9, 2008

Working as an operator for a major wire transfer provider was a memorable (read:horrible) experience. Never in my life have I felt like such a number. In fact I even HAD a number (Operator 853 - that’s me!) Hopefully you can find a place to sit down since you have no assigned seat with your “team” (these are the people with whom you share the same Supervisor and days off but whose names you don’t know with whom you couldn’t talk to if you wanted to. And you really don’t want to.) Don’t get me wrong - while this was part of the glamor of this particular job - the true joy was in interacting with our customers. My favorite was the gentlemen who called in and insisted with unshakable conviction that I should wire ten thousand dollars from a South American bank account to Wells Fargo for him. There was a refusal on my part to do so since this is impossible for more than one boring and detailed reason but generally speaking is simply not done.

“YOU THINK YOU HAVE ME FOOLED? YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW IN MY FLESH AND MY BLOOD THAT YOU’RE LYING TO ME?”

Umm, yeah - OK. Now we come to the part of the Customer Service experience that I despise the most - realizing that the person you are talking to on the other line is most likely a) recently escaped from the nuthouse and b) could be calling from anywhere, including down the street from you. Yeah. We even had a procedure in place for bomb threats there. No I wouldn’t lie to you. A bomb threat hotline.  It’s the last button they show you how to use on your phone system before they turn you loose on the floor.  FUN.

I worked as a Rep for a company that managed HOA’s. For those of you who don’t know or care what they are but are for some inexplicable reason still reading right now, an HOA is a Home Owner’s Association. They have thousands of rules, called “covenants” and all of the people living in the particular area pay fees to have those rules enforced. Managing an HOA is I imagine something like being God. There are so many bad things going on all at once that it’s hard to know where to start. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed arguing with a drunken condo owner over the necessity of submitting to a mandatory fumigation of her place for roaches, but I suppose my single favorite experience here was writing violation letters. Again to clarify, violation letters are nastygrams that you can thank your neighbor for if your dog shit on their lawn or if your Christmas lights were out past January 15th. I had to find a diplomatic way to ask a woman to please stop having such loud sex in her condo and smoking cigars on the balcony after the event. God how I wish I had saved that letter.

More to come, if I can think of them.

Quitting Smoking, Part 1 April 7, 2008

Well here I am, two and a half days of sheer hell later and what can I find to do? Blog about it. Wow, the world is surely tired of the bloggings of ex-smokers - I mean, what kind of boring crap occupies the mind to the extent that it must be blogged out when attempting to counter the effects of nicotine withdrawal?

Nevertheless, allow me to bore you with my rantings. I’ve been smoking since I was twelve years old. I’m now twenty-six. That means that I have been smoking for almost a decade and a half. Cigarettes were my constant companion through adolescence, through my troubled (OK, my troubles were self inflicted) youth. Through puberty, and yes *sigh* even through pregnancy. When nobody else came through for me, the Marlboro man did. Yes, I know, he’s been killing me softly all these years. Maybe it just makes it easier to say goodbye if I give him his dues. Maybe it gives me something to do with my hands besides smoke. Let me just share with you some of my current symptoms:

Headache
Stomach Cramping
Excessive Irritability
Post-Nasal Drip
Hacking Cough
Insomnia

Yeah, this quitting smoking thing is a blast. I had a teacher in high school who made it his mission to educate all the moron teenagers about the dangers of smoking. He showed us studies, videos, court documents, and testimonials about how addictive and poisonous nicotine was for the user. He asserted that quitting smoking is more difficult than quitting heroin. Naturally at the time we were all far too fucking cool to care.

Now, let’s examine that further shall we? I’d like to think that’s true. Call me dramatic, but I like to think that right now I’m suffering more than a heroin addict. At the very least, can we say that my withdrawal symptoms are as bad as those of a heroin addict? What about a crack cocaine user? Crystal meth ? - sure. Anyhow, I realize that my suffering is of a self inflicted nature.  I accept responsibility for making this decision when I was 12 years old.  So here I am, suffering more than a heroin addict ever could (OK, perhaps only AS much, I’m not giving you less than that!) and blogging about it.